I'm having difficulty in rising each morning. And I have to confess that things are getting off to a rather rocky start. I found that I have become very stiff in recent months. I have forgone the bench in favor of a Zafu and Zabuton. I have also noticed a greater degree of anxiety and tension tugging at me as though some little hobgoblin was biting at my heels yet escaping my grasp before I can get a handle on him. I've sat through the anxiousness: though my inclination was to flee the cushion altogether.
Sitting erect and balanced I focused on my breath. Just at the tip of my nose. I paid no attention to the thoughts that bounced like pin-balls throughout the hallways of my mind. Making note of them helped me to see that many of these thoughts were school yard bullies. The thoughts teased at my attempt to begin a meditation practice again. I'm not getting up like I should. My level of concentration will never get beyond where I am now. And Compassion? Why, you have so much anger hiding in you, you're gonna blow!
No wonder I felt anxious! All the criticism....and much of it continued throughout the day.
But that's the jib, you see. You keep on. You make note of thoughts: accept them. Do not judge them. Investigate them. And continue to sit. You are not your thoughts. The mind thinks thoughts. The heart beats. The ears hear and the eyes see.
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May you be well!